The Messenger - September 23, 2009

Recently, Kim and I have been attending a wonderful training class for small group leaders. Both of us have led small groups for many years, so we wondered what new insights this class could really bring. What we discovered was a fresh new way to conceive of small groups, protect those who attend them, develop Christian character, and build a very strong community of faith.

These classes were built upon a series of CDs featuring Bill Donahue, the Small Group Pastor at Willow Creek Christian Church (near Chicago), and two men (Henry Cloud and John Townsend) who wrote a whole series of best-selling books called Boundaries. All 3 of these leaders have studied small group ministry for many, many years, and they argue that good groups create a place in which the 3 essential forces of discipleship can meet. In short, they provide us with grace + truth + time.

Grace means "unconditional favor". When a group is working well, each member develops a genuine affection for the others. Initially, this may be just politeness, as we choose to disregard the annoying facets several other persons' behavior. But when the group starts to gel, group really gels, each member begins to see that the similarities between them are so much more important than the differences. And when it really gels, each member is actually eager to sacrifice some real energy and time for the welfare of the others. They are able to give and receive God's grace.

Truth refers to the reality in which each person lives. Most of us are blind to at least a part of that truth. We cannot recognize the facets of our behavior that alienate other people, and we fail to acknowledge the full impact of our selfishness (or self-pity) on those who live and work around us. Thus, we need other people to "pull the blinders off", but we usually resist this sort of "help" with every fiber of our being. It's only when we experience a very large measure of God's grace from those who journey with us that we can trust those folks enough to reveal our point of weakness and change it to a point of strength.

And that leads to the third force: Time. Good relationships take time. Good groups take time. And good discipleship takes time. Our church is inviting each member (or friend of the church) to participate in some small group, and we are offering them in a vast array of times: Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday morning, Wednesday afternoon, Wednesday night, and Thursday night. There should be at least one time for everyone. And there will be no "doctrinal test" or requirement for any group. Many groups meet weekly, and some meet bi-weekly. But all of them need to meet at least 8 times during the next 3 months their members to get some taste of grace + truth + time.

If you don't currently attend some group, why don't you give it a try? Erik Larson would be glad to sign you up.

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Editor's Corner

Something to ponder.....

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

After reading this, I think it's time for me to join Erik for a cup of coffee and ...... maybe a slice of pie too! How about you?

Until next time!
Yesi

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